Well to begin I have to put into words something I never thought would happen. At 35 weeks and 1 day our son Sean Patrick was born into Heaven.
This is Part 1 of the story.
July 21, 2013:
After putting our daughter to bed and writing a post detailing what happened the night before I decided to take a shower before going to bed. Before getting into the shower I used the restroom and experienced some bleeding I attributed to pregnancy hemorrhoids (which I hadn't had till this point) and didn't think much of. I then got into the shower where the bleeding continued and I eventually passed a large blood clot which really got my attention. I finished quickly and got out of the shower I then told Andrew we needed to go to the hospital. The rest of our time at home is a bit of a blur (like many other times in the next few days) but Andrew tried to call the doctor while also calling our pastor to get a phone number for a friend of ours who had said she would be able to come stay with our daughter. We waited about 5-10 minutes for her to arrive and then left for the hospital. I had a small sinking feeling something wasn't quite right when the pain I was feeling wasn't like contractions. I had pain in my lower stomach but it wasn't coming and going, and my stomach wasn't hard like when you have a contraction. But I had never gone into labor on my own so I was trying to think positively. We drove the 10 minutes to the hospital which after 10pm was a smooth drive with little to no traffic.We parked and walked in where thankfully they had a wheelchair, but they didn't have a towel or pad for the wheelchair so it got a little bloody, at this point I had been steadily bleeding for about 20-30 minutes. They let us go directly into Labor & Delivery but Andrew would have to go back and fill out paperwork. The nurse I had been assigned the night before was the first person we saw which was a good thing, because at this point I was beginning to feel light headed and dizzy. She wheeled me directly into a room and I wasted no time in stripping myself of all my clothes but my sports bra and donning a hospital gown. I then laid down on the bed where the nurse began by trying to put the fetal heart monitor on me. She tried her hardest to find him for a few minutes when she called another nurse into the room. The new nurse began to try and find his heartbeat, and after a few minutes she had no success either. During this whole process I just remember pleading with God for Sean to be ok. When they couldn't find his heartbeat externally they attempted to place a scalp lead vaginally, when that didn't work they did an exam and could only feel placenta by this point.
This is when the Doctor arrived, I was glad it was the same Doctor that had been on call the night before again another familiar face in the sea of people that were now in my room. The doctor explained they couldn't find his heartbeat but would use an ultrasound to confirm. During the ultrasound I just watched while she moved from his head down to his chest where there was only stillness. I knew before she said it that he had indeed passed. After a few more minutes she explained to me that the placenta had separated from the uterus which caused a lack of blood flow. Sean passed from a lack of oxygen. I knew that I would have to deliver this little angel one way or another and I was hoping for the least traumatic route possible. The doctor then explained that since I was bleeding so heavily I would require a C-section, so that she would be able to make sure my uterus wasn't damaged in any way and could make sure to fix the bleeding thoroughly.
Again most of this time was a blur due tears and pain medication I thankfully received soon after arrival, Andrew had to leave the room after we had arrived to go fill out my admission paperwork, but he arrived in time for the doctor to come in and confirm my worst fears. Of course we cried together and prayed together, as soon as I knew he had passed I kept repeating Philippians 4:13 to myself. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And we also had to make the hardest phone calls of our lives since we had called our parents while still at home to tell them we were going to the hospital thinking we were going to have our baby that night. I called my mom and only remember us both crying after I could barely get the words out to tell her what had happened. At this point I was being prepped for surgery and remember the anesthesiologist coming in and asking me the typical pre-op questions. It was decided that I would receive general anesthesia since I needed to be cared for promptly, plus I didn't want to be awake for this delivery. Having worked in L&D I knew the atmosphere in the room and didn't want to experience it when it was my own child who had passed. Probably around 11:30 pm I was moved to the OR, I remember seeing Andrew filling out consents for the surgery and for a blood transfusion I would definitely need after the amount of blood I lost and would continue to lose during surgery. The last thing I remember was moving from the bed to the OR table and just laying down with my arms on the arm boards and reminding the anesthesiologist to do whatever they needed to do.
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