The past few months have gone by far too swiftly and many things have changed in our household since I last posted in early October. Gemma is almost finished with her first ever semester of preschool and I have returned to work. And if that wasn't enough God threw us another curveball and Andrew was laid off again (if you've been keeping up that makes the third time this year). I can say wholeheartedly that not all our decisions in the past few weeks have been easy but we have learned in the past year that what we once considered difficult and overwhelming is much more manageable. I am grateful daily for the peace and understanding the Lord sends my way when I need it most and I am reminded through past experience that it always makes things better when you look at the positives.
For example, my return to work. I can't remember if I had ever mentioned what my life consisted of before I was simply known as Mom. I am a Surgical Technologist and worked for almost 3 years in Labor & Delivery before we relocated the first time and I was able to stay home. So when we finally reached the decision for me to return to the workplace I struggled with returning to L&D after what had happened with Sean. But after much discussion and more prayers than I can count, I took the plunge and applied for an open position and was lucky enough to be hired. I have since gone through orientation and just finished my in unit training, which in the beginning is where things got rough. I knew going into it that I would be faced with reliving our experience (I work at the hospital I delivered Sean at) and also processing my feelings of helping to bring other little lives into the world again. I can say for sure that my focus and how I perform my job has changed entirely since I was employed last. Partly from our journey with Sean but also having been a mother and myself going through the labor and delivery process. I feel I have grown and I thank God everyday for my two beautiful children who have given me the experience necessary for that growth. People who know about Sean and about my return to work often ask me how I will feel should I be faced with having to help deliver another mother with a loss like ours. And I respond by saying that of course it will be hard to relive our experience through another family, but who better than someone who can truly empathize to be there in their time of need. I just continue to pray that God provides me with the continued strength as we are still healing from our loss. But I am reminded that the lord has already opened doors and shown us how we can bless others with our story, and I look forward to any chance I am given to help. To possibly provide someone with the same peace and sense of comfort we had. I know that everyday I go into work I will be faced with any number of situations, and that's the beauty of my job. I am grateful for the opportunity to witness the gift of life and love going to work everyday.
I also wanted to take a moment to say thank you to Becky at Purposeful Homemaking. She posted a comment on a previous post and I was truly humbled by it. I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to comment. I have so rarely posted thinking no one saw a single word that I spend so much time painstakingly putting together, but now I feel a renewed sense of energy to begin posting again. And I also wanted to mention your comment was very encouraging in the sense of I consider myself a "Baby" Christian still and it is sometimes hard to find the right words or to feel comfortable proclaiming your faith in such a public way. I can feel myself grow each day through the word, prayer and the many amazing people and its slowly becoming easier. But its always nice to hear a positive word of encouragement.
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