Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
Where to begin? I guess I will begin about 6 months ago when this last leg of our journey as a family abruptly began. I received a phone call from my obviously emotional husband that he needed me to pick him up from work, I was given no reason and was just told that I needed to come immediately. I knew in my heart that physically he was fine, but something in his voice on the phone made me fear the worst. I begged with God the entire 10 minute drive, that it not be what I feared. Please let him still have his job! When I pulled up to where he was outside my worst fears were confirmed, he had indeed been let go. Of course you go through the grieving period and boy did we have one heck of a pity party for ourselves. But we soon realized it was getting us nowhere.
Now those who know me, know that I have had a troubled relationship with God for years. I always said we had an understanding. I've always believed but haven't always been too happy with the man upstairs. Since my life has had some trying ups and downs I tended to feel very defeated time after time, when my prayers weren't answered in the way I felt they should have been. But then again I have also been given so much that I only took for granted or chalked up to being in the right place at the right time. But something on that fateful drive just pulled my heart to him and I finally just gave my all to his plan. (Didn't figure out this is what I had done till a little later in the story.)
One of the many little miracles in my life, our precious daughter Gemma (taken 2-2013).
We had already been on a rocky road financially just 2 months before, and had finally gotten back into a good place. We had just found out we were expecting our second child and I was about 2 months along when my husband lost his job. We knew that with his military experience it shouldn't be hard to find another job, so we dove whole heartedly into job-searching. There was a job fair just a week later, but after interviewing with multiple companies it was clear that we would likely have to relocate again. We prayed for what we thought was best and prioritized our picks of which jobs/locations we preferred. At the bottom of that list was our last choice a smaller company in North Texas of all places, we dreaded the thought of moving anywhere close to Dallas. We had heard horror stories and already hated the "city" life we had in Houston, but we both just looked at each other and said we will make it work wherever we had to go. And of course that was the one and only offer that rolled in after weeks of searching. We kept trying to convince ourselves that this would be a blessing in disguise, that this was meant to be. We were stretched thin financially after scraping by waiting for a job to roll around, but surprisingly some money came from an unexpected source, which I now realize was God providing for us. So we were squared away to make the 4 hour trek to North Texas all on the wings of faith, that this was the best thing to do.
Our second little miracle due to arrive August 2013 (taken 5-2013).
Fast forward to Easter, just a few short weeks after the worst move we could have imagined (two weeks really isn't enough time to do it all) we were eager to get out of "box city" as we had deemed our apartment. My husband and I had both agreed when we moved that we would give trying to find a church home another shot after a horrendous experience in Houston. We looked online at churches in the area that might offer us what we wanted. But ultimately decided for our first time out we would go to the one closest to us. I was still hesitant about going to church, again my rocky relationship with God standing in my way, but decided to give it a shot as I saw it in Andrews face he needed this. In the following weeks I felt moved by the series our pastor was doing on Hebrews 11. It was all about faith, and how by moving through life with faith in Gods plan he will provide what you need when you need it. And with all we had been through and still have in front of us it all clicked. We had finally made the leap and had walked this path purely on faith. We were exactly were we needed to be and more importantly were God meant for us to be.
The man I never expected to find, nonetheless marry, and our Gemma Bean (taken 5-2013).
Long story short (kind of) I have finally come to see that my rocky relationship with God wasn't really rocky, I was just choosing to be stubborn in letting go and allowing myself to walk by faith. I have been so inspired lately by this journey that I had begun as a child and followed intermittently through my life, that I now follow it completely. I continue to have hopes and dreams of my own of course but all with the knowledge that they might not be what God has in store for me. He will put his hopes and dreams on my heart when the time comes, and that's the amazing part of the journey is the unknown. I can only imagine where this path will lead and how my life will be transformed.
**Since I am still kind of "wet behind the ears" when it comes to this aspect of my life and how to communicate my faith with others I am asking that you post an inspirational bible verse or quote in the comments section.**
Pages I've Linked to this week:
No comments:
Post a Comment